at the edge of cold water.

there are times in our lives
where we may be reticent
to commit ourselves fully
to an opportunity of some kind.

hesitant to give ourselves over entirely
to something outside of ourselves.

for all the primal parts of us can see
are the sharp edges,
the potential pains,
the hurts waiting for us
on the other side of a choice.

after all,
to immerse ourselves wholeheartedly
in anything is risky,
vulnerable, isn't it?

there is more on the line.
more skin in the game.
more to be bruised by.

the deeper the care,
the deeper the potential hurt.
it feels like a direct exchange,
and all we can focus on is the wound.

so we move through the world guarded.
quick to close ourselves off.
quick to pull down the shades,
to strap on the armor,
bound by the hypothetical "what ifs"
that loom so loudly in our minds.

we hold back,
away from disappointment,
safe from failure,
immune to rejection.

we continue onward,
telling ourselves we're keeping safe,
doing what's best,
getting by just fine,
but never learning
the "what ifs" of a different kind:

what if i took that chance?
what if i gave it my all?
then what could have been?

to that, i say:
there is a different way forward.

one that honors the very real,
very powerful fears you hold,
without letting them take the wheel.

you can carry your dread lightly
and still take a step forward.

it's like this:
imagine standing at the edge of cold water.
you have options here.
far too many to name,
but let's entertain a few.

you can decide not to go in at all.
you can inch your way in.
or you can dive headfirst.

let's first consider dipping a toe in,
a gentle test, nothing to shame.
but do you stop there and retreat
to the dry comfort of your towel,
fearing the water is far too cold
and that you won't be able to handle it?

do you wade in inch by agonizing inch,
only to turn back when the slow shock
becomes too much to bear?

or do you decide to throw yourself in?
because you're feeling brazen today,
or perhaps you make the choice
from a "let's just get this over with" frame of mind.

sure, either way, it will be jarring at first,
sudden and cold,
knocking the air from your lungs,
but soon, you realize
it turns refreshing,
and dare i say, feels somewhat pleasant.

these are all choices, aren't they?
none of them wrong,
just different paths,
with different consequences,
each carrying its own weight.

but what i want to highlight
is that instinct doesn't always serve us,
and protection is not always peace.

the mind wants to stay warm in the towel
even when the cold water calls out to us,
even when it is ultimately where we belong.

to be human is to learn over time
that not every thought deserves a home,
not every thought deserves to be trusted.

some are built to protect,
yet only succeed in keeping us small.
thoughts to treat like a leaf on a stream,
ones we simply allow to float on by.

so even when the pull of safety is strong,
the kindest thing you can do for yourself
is to step past familiarity,
dive deep into the chill,

and discover on the other side
that you can breathe in cold water.

that the life you were waiting for
was swimming there all along.
there for the taking.

waiting for you to take the leap
and learn that you are okay.

you are capable.

you can endure hard things.

and maybe even find a little joy in them, too.

let us remember,
here and now:

there are whole worlds of possibility
waiting for us
on the other side
of the important,
powerful,
and courageous decision to jump.